Fifty Shades Of Grey
Dakota Johnson
I have to admit at first I didn’t want to review Dakota Johnson in Fifty Shades of Grey for two main reasons. Number one: it’s obviously a complete and total chick flick. To most guys that would be a problem, but I will watch any chick flick as long as the hot girl in it gets naked. It does have to be one of the main characters, one of the characters that has been well developed in the script. That is really the core of why we like nude celebrities in movies, because the actresses bring the characters to life and we believe we’re looking in on an actual intimate situation with a real character.
The second reason is that I was never really a big fan of Dakota Johnson. Then I saw Dakota Johnson hosting Saturday Night Live and she was pretty funny. So I decided I would watch Dakota Johnson in Fifty Shades of Grey and it wasn’t bad and she looked super hot. Then before writing this review I got really stoned and watched Fifty Shades of Grey again and Dakota Johnson was fucking hilarious.
To be clear, Dakota Johnson in Fifty Shades of Grey only starts out kind of funny in the beginning when her roommate gets the flu, Dakota Johnson’s character interviews Mr. Grey in her place. As it turns out Dakota Johnson’s character is a virgin so she’s very nervous, but still flirty for the first half of Fifty Shades of Grey. The second half of Fifty Shades of Grey is all about Mr. Grey teaching Dakota Johnson’s character the broad points of bondage, domination, sadism and masochism. Then Dakota Johnson just wanting a normal monogamous relationship with the billionaire.
I know that many of you porn surfers will find the sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey very tame. I actually liked Dakota Johnson more and more as Fifty Shades Of Grey went on and she was in more and more sex scenes. Dakota Johnson never really seems like the virgin she is supposed to play in the movie. Her male co-star tells Dakota Johnson almost immediately the kind of kinky sex stuff he is into. So Fifty Shades Of Grey starts out with just normal sex where he starts off slowly kissing Dakota Johnson, then reaches around her waist and pulls her shirt over her head. He laid Dakota Johnson on the bed and then puts his head between her thighs and starts licking her. Then he lifts up and starts simulating sex missionary style with Dakota Johnson.
After Dakota Johnson’s character loses her virginity, the sex scenes in Fifty Shades Of Grey have a little more bondage and domination in them. Christian buys Dakota Johnson’s character a car and she rolls her eyes at him. So he grabs her by the arm, takes her inside and bends her over his knee. Then he starts spanking Dakota Johnson. The other two main bondage scenes involve Dakota Johnson being tied naked standing up and having her breasts whipped. And another scene of Dakota Johnson bent over and being spanked.
Once again, since Fifty Shades of Grey is a chick flick, everything that happened in the movie was internal and emotional. Basically Dakota Johnson’s character discovering her sexuality, who she is in a relationship, all that good crap. Dakota Johnson is however, completely naked for literally 25 minutes out of the last hour of Fifty Shades of Grey. And half of that time Dakota Johnson wasn’t just nude but also tied in various positions or bound to various items of sex furniture.
If you don’t like Dakota Johnson, Fifty Shades of Grey probably has too much Dakota Johnson for you. I was on the fence about Dakota Johnson after seeing her SNL performance, but after watching Fifty Shades of Grey I like Dakota Johnson more and I she’s definitely hotter than I had previously thought. What ruined the sex scenes for me was the super creepy Mr. Grey. His character had all the illusions of depth, but nothing was ever revealed, so he is just weird.
No, I didn’t read the book. But maybe Fifty Shades of Grey 2 will reveal something more or clarify something I’m not seeing. Obviously I’m missing something since Fifty Shades of Grey made $500 million dollars and it had very little story, almost no backstories for the characters and it didn’t even give any novel or unique sex acts or bondage positions. Why Mr. Grey was like this is because he dated one of his mom’s friends when he was 15 years old who was into BDSM. But who knows why Dakota Johnson’s character was still a virgin in her mid 20s. And what’s the deal with Eloise Mumford and the brother? Oh well, for a movie that was billed as the most sensual, provocative, sexy book ever written, the film Fifty Shades of Grey was a little disappointing.
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